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Your Holiday Party Guide to Becoming a Crypto Billionaire

It’s apparently very easy to make billions off of crypto. You can take the first step at an upcoming holiday party. Here’s how.

The holiday party season is here. Mask on or mask off, people are getting together again to share in the festivities. At your upcoming gathering, what better way to ring in the season than to make you and your friends and family crypto billionaires!

Clearly, this will be a popular topic. All the rage, there are somewhere between 6,000 and 10,000 variations of cryptocurrencies, with a total market value of nearly $2 trillion.1 That’s more than any other company in the S&P 500 index except for Apple (AAPL) and Microsoft (MSFT).

How hard is it to become a crypto billionaire? Actually, it’s very easy. And billionaire status is a certainty2. Here is how you do it at your next holiday event:


6 Steps to Becoming a Crypto Billionaire

1. Ask someone at the party if they want to become a crypto billionaire.

2. Using their name, create the cryptocurrency. Let’s say your friend is Katy Perry, the most followed female musician on Twitter with 109 million followers. You choose the name of “Katy-coin.”

3. Find a scrap piece of paper, preferably a plain white party napkin. Tear it in half.

4. On one half, write “1 billion Katy-coins.” On the other, write “1 Katy-coin.”

5. Give Katy both pieces of paper, as she is the creator and owner.

6. Buy the piece that says “1 Katy-coin” from her for $1.00. Use a real U.S. dollar bill. You now own 1 Katy-coin. And you have established the price of a Katy-coin.

If one Katy-coin is worth $1, the implied total value of all Katy-coins is $1 billion.3 Presto! Your friend is now a crypto billionaire!

But this seems flaky. It’s just two people playing with paper. So let’s see if we can make this more real.

Agree that you are placing a hard cap on Katy-coin at 1 billion and one. This creates scarcity. Then, ask someone else at the party to buy a Katy-coin for $1. This increases the trading volume and the credibility of the $1 price.

Encourage others to buy Katy-coin for $1. The deeper market makes it hard to deny that the price is anything other than $1. Soon, others will feel left out and want in on the action. Tell them that the price is now $2 for a Katy-coin. Boom! Now the price has doubled, and everyone is making money on Katy-coin, especially Katy who is now holding $2 billion of her cryptocurrency. After all, the “market price” is getting more firmly established, and who is to say the market is wrong.

Take this meme coin to the next level – a real cryptocurrency. Have your friends DM (that’s direct message) their friends who may happily buy Katy-coin for $3 each! Buzz is growing, trading volume is surging, the price is becoming more legitimate. Everyone is making money. Maybe set up a simple website to make trading a bit easier among strangers, then transition all trading to Coinbase (COIN). Voila!

As simple as this sounds, this is exactly how cryptocurrencies are created (except for the paper launch, which is always bypassed for a direct digital launch). Absurd? Just ask Billy Markus and Jackson Palmer, whose Dogecoin – created as a joke in 2013 – now has a market value of nearly $30 billion. Give Markus and Palmer credit for being transparent!

This is a lot of fun and excitement! Memorize this process, take it to your holiday parties. Please don’t do a rug-pull! As you make everyone rich, you will be the life of the party. At least on paper.

  1. Based on estimates by SoFi.
  2. At least, on paper.
  3. Technically, $1,000,000,001.

Do you own any crypto in your portfolio? Tell us how you’ve done with it in the comments below.


Bruce Kaser has more than 25 years of value investing experience in managing institutional portfolios, mutual funds and private client accounts. He has led two successful investment platform turnarounds, co-founded an investment management firm, and was principal of a $3 billion (AUM) employee-owned investment management company.